Jared Stern

Nickname: Or Current Resident

Also Great At: Exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide

Historical Figure I Could Take in a Fight: Me as a child, probably. I've beefed up since then.

Strangest Thing in My "Rocky"-style Training Montage: Aggressive topiary

I Stay Humble By: Realizing I might never reach the expectations I read on my vitamin bottle every morning, "B Complex".

Movie That Closest Mirrors My Personal Journey: The Sound of Music, but on "Mute"